www.nacoa.org.uk
NACOA is a fabulous little charity, but one that you might not have come across before.
The abbreviation stands for The National Association for Children of Alcoholics and it has a very dear place in my heart.
I am a child of an alcoholic (COA) and some of my earliest childhood memories are of mum drinking and of the resulting chaos it often caused.
She died just over 2 years ago to the illness and lay dead on the floor of her flat for about a week before she was found. It was about as grim as it could ever be, but compounded by the fact that she probably died on my 40th birthday and/or Mothers Day - how ironic.
I’m too well aware of the volatility that exists for the many thousands of COA’s sharing a house with an alcohol dependent parent and even of those who are still suffering the consequences of the parent’s actions if they’ve moved away, or passed away.
Here’s a sobering statistic for want of a better description; in the UK, there are just under 3 million people who have one or two alcohol dependent parents. Bear in mind a COA could be a very young person right through to someone in their 90’s or more; the badge never seems to fall off.
Last year, NACOA’s lifeline of a help-line and website received just under 18,000 cries for help. I want to tell you more about the data they’ve compiled on the last 12 months of activity, but today’s posting isn’t here to make you feel sad, guilty or otherwise - on the contrary, I want you to feel great!
For every copy of The Book of Rubbish Ideas that’s sold, I am making a personal donation to NACOA to help fund their crucial work and so I’m sending an enormous hug of thanks from me and it’s echoed by the incredible team at NACOA from their offices in Bristol; every single penny really does help.
If you want to stop reading now, that’s fine, but if you do read on, prepare to be surprised, maybe even halted in your tracks by the information.
I am a very proud and active Trustee for them and I look after some of their media and press stuff. I also do my best to be creative with the camera and the two images here are some of my favourites pieces of work. The one with the little 7 year old girl can be downloaded and printed as a poster to put up in your place of school or work - see www.NACOA.org.uk for details.
Here are a few of the headlines from 2007/8.
13% of the help-line calls received were from children 7 and under.
Some of the very young children call and simply ask for someone to read them a peaceful bedtime story.
14% are aged 8-11.
52% are aged 11-18.
When asked who else are they talking to about the problems they face being a COA, 58.1% reply, ‘Nobody’.
In respect of presenting problems they themselves are experiencing, 13.4% say they are now drinking too much.
11.9% have mental well-being issues.
10.9% are also being abused in another way.
9.9% have considered suicide.
If you are a child of an alcoholic and would like to find out more about NACOA, please visit www.nacoa.org.uk or call their help-line, which is not manned 24 hours a day, but there are answer-phones and if you wish, you can leave a message and someone will get back to you. Ring 0800 358 3456 and your call will be met by a trained professional who will help you.
If you’d like to donate money to NACOA, please hop onto their website and click the ‘Donate’ link at the top-right of the page.
If you’d like to get involved with their volunteer programme, please email [email protected] and somebody from the team will get back to you.
Thank you for reading today’s post,
TS xxxx
This is a fabulous book full of useful, practical and helpful ways to live a greener life without the horror of being made to feel guilty about the way I’ve live my life.
Interestingly, this is the way the Nacoa helpline works. We don’t tell kids what to do or not to do. They’ve often had a lifetime of that from parents whose parenting skills have been lost in the bottle.
We help kids to find their own ways to deal with their problems by offering practical and helpful ways of coping - helpling them to make positive choices rather than following in their parents’ footsteps and turning to drink.
So, thank you Tracey for helping me to live a greener life and for making the world a better place for the thousands of children who need Nacoa’s help and support.
Dearest Hilary (the CEO at NACOA just in case you were wondering who she is)!
I cannot tell you how much happier and complete a person I am because of knowing NACOA. It means so much to me and I’m over the moon that every Book of Rubbish Ideas carries the charity name and details. I know it will find its way to many new COA’s (children of alcoholics) that need her help.
I know too that every penny we collectively manage to raise for NACOA is so wisely spent helping the people who need guidance, support and help - and sometimes, just someone to listen to them.
NACOA should have a poster in every surgery, in every library and public place so COA’s can share their pain and find a chink of light to get through their day.
If you’re reading this and know a child of an alcoholic or indeed if you are one, look at http://www.NACOA.org.uk and see exactly what I’m talking about.
They are simply amazing.
TS x
Yes, my dad used to drink way too much and there were times,; as a child, I wished my mom would divorce (which she gladly didn’t and my relationship wth my dad improived so much) he died of cancer….started in the throat and digestive tube (many alcolholics end up with that too)
Hi Esther,
Thank you for that brave revist to your childhood. So sorry to hear what happened to you and of course, your dad too.
Alcoholism is still such an undiscussed topic when it comes to the life of the child that endures the volatility.
The more I can do to elevate the profile of NACOA the better.
It’s funny, but tomorrow I’m heading up for their annual lecture in London. It’s being delivered by my friend Lauren Booth who put a piece in the Mail on Sunday just gone talking about it…..she too has gone through hoops revisiting that time, but I’m so proud of her talking about it and I am of you too. It’s a tough one to admit to for a start, even when we realise the situation certainly isn’t our fault.
If you have a moment, look at the NACOA website, http://www.NACOA.org.uk and click on the Personal Experiences page - there are so many stories on there you’ll be able to connect to and they might help alleviate your pain further.
With love and understanding my friend!
TS
x